At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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