I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
