Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
