So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
