i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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