do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
