I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize