I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
