Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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