normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
