I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
