My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
