FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
