dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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