As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
