there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Send help, water and tortillas.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
