I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
