My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
