tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
