I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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