So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
