i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize