So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
