Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
