laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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