what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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