just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
