If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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