Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
