someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
