Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
