This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
