Got a toothbrush?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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