I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
