do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
