I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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