this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
