Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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