There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
