my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
