She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
