Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
