im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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