the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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