HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
organizing the empties. That sober.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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