does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
