sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
how drunk are you?
Several
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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