You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
