I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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