dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
