3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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