i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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