I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
